How Do I Explain God’s Grace to Someone Who Feels Unworthy Of It?

Dear Ellen,

I have a friend who is studying the Bible and feels unworthy of accepting God’s love and grace. She thinks she’s done too much in her life to be forgiven and start over. How do I help her see God is eager to grant her grace?

— Hopeful Helper

Dear Hopeful Helper,

Thank you for sharing this heartfelt question—it’s clear you deeply care about helping your friend experience the overwhelming, undeserved, and truly life-changing love of God. What a beautiful opportunity!

My go-to strategy in any communication is validation—finding common ground. And guess what? There’s so much space for validation here because your friend is absolutely right: they are completely, totally, and fully unworthy of God’s love and grace. We all are. That’s exactly what makes it so amazing!

The Bible doesn’t shy away from this truth. Isaiah 64:6 reminds us that our “righteous deeds are like filthy rags” before Him, and Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” But here’s the best part: God’s love and grace aren’t based on our worthiness. His love is rooted in who He is, not who we are.

I’d encourage you to start this conversation with your friend by saying something like:
“You’re right—you and I, we’re both unworthy of His love. But that’s what makes it so incredible! God doesn’t love us because we deserve it. He loves us because He is love. It confounds reason. And I think it’s supposed to.”

And oh, how deep His love goes! The Bible is full of verses that overflow with God’s love for us:

💛 Zephaniah 3:17 – “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love, he will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing.” Can you imagine a God who sings over us?

💛 Psalm 103:8-12 – “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love… As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” His love is immeasurable and His forgiveness limitless.

💛 Romans 5:8 – “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” His love for us was so great that He sent Jesus to die for us, knowing exactly how flawed and broken we are.

A Picture of God’s Love

As a mom, I often think about God’s love in terms of my kids. When my son was five, he asked me, “Why do you love me?” The only answer I could give him was, “Because you’re mine.”

It’s not about how well he behaves (though it pleases me when he does), how much he listens (though I certainly like that), or how adorable he is (though he is!)—because, even if none of those things were true, I’d still love him. Why? Because he’s mine to love.

I think God’s love and grace for us is the same. It doesn’t follow reason. It’s not dependent on our actions. And that’s what makes it so amazing. It’s a gift we can’t possibly earn—and yet, it’s ours to accept.

So when your friend says they feel unworthy, you can lovingly agree. But then, balance it with the breathtaking truth: God loves them anyway. His grace is a gift they don’t have to earn—they can simply abide in it.

I’m praying for you as you share this with your friend. May they feel the overwhelming love of God in a way that changes everything.

All for Him,
Ellen