Dear Ellen,
I’ve been struggling with same-sex attraction for a long time. I’ve prayed countless times for God to take these feelings away, but they haven’t gone. It’s hard to understand why He would let me struggle with this. I know that the Bible teaches obedience, but I feel isolated and judged, even by other Christians. It’s exhausting to keep pushing forward. I just don’t know how to stay faithful to God and true to myself at the same time. How do I move forward with both honesty and obedience?
– Conflicted
Dear Conflicted,
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and trusting me with this part of your story. I’m deeply inspired by your faith and your desire to follow God’s will, even when the journey feels overwhelming.
Many of us know what it’s like to beg God to take certain feelings away—myself included. Yet for me, and for many others in similar situations, God has not removed those attractions. What has sustained us is God’s promise:
📖 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
Obedience Flows from Love, Not Obligation
💡 God isn’t after obedience for its own sake—He’s after you. Your heart.
✔ You are free to choose. God has given you free will, and you can exercise it as you wish. I don’t say this to encourage you to walk away, but rather to free you from feeling like you must stay out of obligation or social pressure.
✔ True obedience is rooted in love, not fear. Once you grasp this, your perspective can shift—from simply forcing yourself into compliance with God’s commands to letting your love for Him naturally lead you into obedience.
✔ Sometimes our relationship with God hits dry spells, just like any relationship. That’s okay—it happens. Try new ways to connect with Him, and allow that love to grow again, so that obedience flows from the heart, rather than feeling forced.
Trusting When You Don’t Understand
It’s incredibly freeing to realize that God doesn’t ask us to understand everything, including the “why” behind certain struggles.
📖 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. – Isaiah 55:8-9
Instead of demanding full understanding, God calls us to love Him through obedience (John 14:15). This relieves the burden of trying to figure it all out on our own.
A Life with God is More Fulfilling Than Anything Left Behind
✔ Learning that following God means giving up something deeply personal, like a romantic relationship with someone of the same sex, can feel devastating.
✔ But from my experience, life with God is far more fulfilling than anything I left behind.
✔ Self-denial is hard. But it’s also beautiful when viewed as an act of love toward the One who loves us perfectly.
Your Identity is Bigger Than Attraction
Your true source of worth is so much more than who you are physically attracted to.
✔ For me, being “true to myself” means being wrapped up with Christ in God.
✔ Who knows me better than my Creator—the One who formed me and knows every hair on my head?
✔ Embracing your God-given identity allows you to align with both yourself and His standards.
You Don’t Have to Walk This Alone
One of the most powerful tools in this journey is community.
💙 At Strength in Weakness Ministry, we have women’s support groups that meet weekly.
✔ These groups provide encouragement, wisdom, and a safe space to be seen and supported.
✔ We walk together, sharing openly about our struggles and triumphs.
✔ It’s truly a place where you can just be.
God is With You in This
I am praying that God will continue to make His path clear to you. He sees you, loves you, and walks with you every step of the way.
In Him,
Ellen
