Dear Ellen, I recently found out that my son will have a same-sex attracted counselor at his sleep-away camp, and I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable about the situation. I want to be sensitive but also make sure that my son is in a safe environment. How should I approach this, and what do you think is the best way to handle it? – Concerned Parent
Dear Concerned Parent,
Thank you so much for reaching out! I completely understand your concerns—it’s always tough to send your child off to camp, and adding this kind of scenario can feel even more complicated.
It’s important to make a distinction between someone who experiences same-sex attraction and how they live in response to that attraction. Simply being same-sex attracted does not make someone inherently unsafe or unfit to serve in a camp counseling role. The key issue here isn’t their attraction but their personal righteousness and behavior.
Here are a few points that may help:
Personal Temptation vs. Righteousness: Those who experience same-sex attraction aren’t inherently sexual deviants. It’s crucial to separate their temptation from their actions. For example, if a camp counselor experiences attraction toward other adults of the same sex, that’s a very different issue from them being attracted to the children they are responsible for. If their personal temptation doesn’t involve children, it’s not fair to assume they can’t serve in a counseling role.
Wisdom for Each Individual: Some people might find serving in certain roles too tempting based on their unique experience, while others may handle the role just fine. Hebrews 12:1-3 tells us not to just throw off sin, but also hinderances. The problem with this is what hinders one person might not hinder another, even within the same temptation. Ultimately, the person should consult with spiritual advisors and assess their own conscience before God to determine if this role is a wise fit.
Camp Policies and Safety: Safety measures should be in place at any camp—regardless of whether a counselor is same-sex attracted. Policies like ensuring a counselor is never alone with a camper can create a safe environment for everyone involved.
As for your son, this could be an excellent opportunity for an open and respectful conversation about faith, God’s love, and understanding same-sex attraction from a Christian perspective. It’s important to help him see that same-sex attraction in and of itself, isn’t sinful, and that we are all called to live righteously, whatever our temptations may be.
If you’d like more resources to help navigate discussions about sexuality and faith, feel free to check out the resources on my website.
I hope these thoughts are helpful! I’m praying for you and your son as you work through this together.
