8 Strategies to Navigate the Holidays as Christian Parents of LGBTQ+ Kids

For Christian parents of LGBTQ+ children, the holiday season can be a time of both joy and deep complexity. While the thought of reuniting as a family brings excitement, it can also resurface grief over the tension between your faith and your child’s identity or choices. The holidays may amplify feelings of loss, hope, love, and longing as you navigate how to honor your beliefs while loving your child well.

As you prepare for the season, here are 8 strategies to help you navigate grief, set boundaries, and create a holiday environment rooted in grace and truth:

1. Acknowledge the Complexity of Your Grief

The grief you’re experiencing is real and valid. You may mourn dreams of what you envisioned for your child’s life or feel the loss of alignment in values and beliefs that once brought comfort and unity. At the same time, you may wrestle with guilt or confusion over how to reconcile your love for your child with your desire to remain faithful to God.

This is a unique kind of grief—a layered sorrow that can feel isolating. Acknowledging it is an important first step. Bring your pain to God, knowing that He sees every tear and understands the depth of your emotions. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”

2. Prepare for Grief Triggers During the Holidays

The holidays often bring up powerful memories of years past—of traditions, shared values, and simpler times. Seeing your child living in a way incongruent with your faith may feel like a sharp reminder of what’s changed.

Prepare for these emotional triggers by creating space to process your feelings ahead of time. Journaling, praying, or talking to a trusted friend or counselor can help you navigate these emotions without being overwhelmed when the moment comes.

3. Set Loving and Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for maintaining peace and mutual respect during the holidays. This doesn’t mean creating rigid rules that shut your child out, but setting expectations that foster an atmosphere of kindness and understanding.

For example:

• If discussions about faith or lifestyle tend to create tension, consider agreeing beforehand to focus on shared values and joyful moments during the holiday gatherings.
• Clearly communicate any expectations about family traditions or practices (e.g., attending church together), while also giving your child the freedom to opt out if they choose.
  
  

Boundaries should not be punitive but should reflect a desire for mutual respect and a focus on building bridges rather than walls.

4. Balance Grief and Gratitude

While you may feel the weight of grief, don’t let it overshadow the blessings in front of you. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain but helps you find light amid the darkness.

Take moments to appreciate the presence of your child, the opportunity to spend time together, and the ways God is still working in their life (and yours). Look for small ways to express joy and connection, even as you hold space for the harder emotions.

5. Lean on God for Strength

Navigating the tension between your faith and your child’s identity can feel overwhelming. Remember, you don’t have to carry this alone. God is with you, offering His wisdom, strength, and peace.

Pray for guidance in how to love your child while remaining faithful to your convictions. Ask God to soften your heart where it’s needed, to give you courage to speak truth in love, and to provide wisdom when navigating difficult conversations.

Scripture reassures us: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (James 1:5).

6. Focus on Building Bridges, Not Walls

The holiday season is an opportunity to invest in your relationship with your child. While it’s natural to want to address disagreements or concerns, sometimes the best approach is to simply listen and love.

This doesn’t mean compromising your beliefs but choosing to prioritize the connection. Let your child see that your love for them is steadfast, even as you navigate complex feelings about their choices.

7. Create a Safe Space for Conversations

If the moment arises, be open to meaningful conversations about faith, identity, and your relationship. Approach these discussions with humility and a willingness to listen. Let your child share their feelings and experiences without fear of judgment, and share your own with gentleness and clarity.

Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is affirm your love and commitment to your child, while entrusting the deeper work to God.

8. Grieve With Hope

It’s okay to grieve the tension and loss you feel, but don’t lose sight of the hope we have in Christ. The holiday season reminds us of God’s promise to redeem all things, even the hardest situations.

In 1 Thessalonians 4:13, Paul encourages us to grieve with hope, trusting that God is at work in ways we may not yet see. Pray for your child, asking God to reveal Himself to them in His time and way. Trust that He loves them even more than you do and is actively pursuing their heart.

A Season of Grace and Truth

The holidays can be a challenging time for Christian parents of LGBTQ+ children, but they can also be an opportunity for healing, connection, and growth. By acknowledging your grief, setting loving boundaries, and leaning on God, you can navigate this season with grace and truth.

As you gather with your family, may you find comfort in God’s presence, peace in His promises, and hope in His redemptive love.