My child was recently at sleep-away camp with a counselor who shared during a devotional that they were same-sex attracted. I feel uncomfortable with this, what do you think? What about other campers that could be same-sex attracted?
I completely understand how you might feel uncomfortable with your child being at sleep-away camp with a counselor who is same-sex attracted. I can also see the other side of this where it might feel unfair to a same-sex attracted brother or sister in the faith if they were told they couldn’t serve as a counselor because of a particular temptation they have. Therefore, I wonder if the perspective ought to be shifted from an individual’s particular temptation to their personal righteousness.
If I were the camp director, I might ask things to a same-sex attracted camp counselor like, “how long has it been since you have acted on your same-sex attractions?” or “have you ever been attracted to a child of the same sex before?” The answers to these types of questions may help a camp director determine in which capacity a same-sex attracted brother or sister could be best utilized, while maintaining safety for all involved.
A few thoughts that come to my mind in regard to a same-sex attracted camp counselor:
Those that experience same-sex attraction are not inherently sexual deviants and, therefore, making a distinction between their attraction and what they do with that attraction will be necessary. For example, it would be uncommon for a same-sex attracted camp counselor who was quite a bit older than their campers to experience attraction to the campers, unless something like pedophilia was in their past/part of their temptation. If this were the case, then of course it would be unwise for someone who struggled with that particular temptation to serve in a capacity where they were directly involved with children, just as it would be unwise for someone who struggled with alcoholism to share their faith with people at a bar. But, if someone is just attracted to the same sex (presumably those closer to their own age), then serving in a pure capacity as a camp counselor does not make it inherently wrong or unwise.
That said, it could be unwise for someone who is same-sex attracted to serve in this capacity ifit would be too great a personal temptation for them individually. Hebrews 12:1-3 instructs Christians to throw off sin that easily entangles and anything that could hinder us in our personal righteousness. The problem is that what hinders you and what hinders me (even in the midst of the same temptation) will be different, because our experiences are unique, and therefore our potential hindrances will also be unique. Unfortunately, this phenomenon makes it impossible for others to perfectly discern what would be wise/unwise for a particular person in their very nuanced experience. Such an individual would need to consult their personal conscience before God and get advice from trusted, spiritual advisors in order to determine whether serving in this capacity is wise for their personal experience or not. But, assigning broad, sweeping generalizations and rules to people that have similar temptations but different experiences with them is usually a reaction fueled by fear and not love.
Sending your child to sleep-away camp is so incredibly scary! Even in a God-centered environment, children are exposed to all kinds of brokenness, pain, and sin, all at a time where we have no oversight over them. We place a LOT of trust in camp directors and counselors as they care for our precious little ones, even in the midst of their own brokenness and sin. Hopefully, a camp like this would be upfront and honest about their policies and procedures to help the parents feel as at-ease as possible during this vulnerable time. For example, I think it’s probably a good idea that no camp counselor (same-sex attracted or not) is alone with a camper. There should be at least another adult and/or a few more campers around to ensure protection of many different kinds for the kids. If these kinds of safety measures are in place, then any fears about same-sex attracted counselors may be quelled a bit, as even ifa counselor were to experience an overwhelming attraction to a camper and then if they felt tempted to act on it, there would be no opportunity for that with the policies and procedures enacted by the camp.
I suppose I am assuming this was shared with campers that are preteens/teenagers and are therefore actively affected by LGBTQ+ topics in our world today. If this was shared with 5-year-olds, though I think it’s good for even young kids to discuss these things, it is best discussed first with parents.
A few thoughts that come to mind in regard to a same-sex attracted camper:
I think all of the above applies to your question about a camper experiencing same-sex attraction, as well. It’s not necessary (and could be incredibly harmful) to broadly say that anyone who struggles with same-sex attraction cannot attend sleep-away camp. This is a temptation they have no control over and I don’t think hindering them from learning about God and bonding with peers at camp would be a healthy way to approach that with them. However, a conversation with this camper about what might be personally difficult (personal hindrances) for them at camp in regard to their ssa might be good; as well as a plan for if they feel actively tempted to act on their same-sex attraction at all. For example, a buddy at camp they could go to talk about it, calling their teen leader back home to gain some support and guidance during such a temptation, getting special permission to use a more private shower/changing room to lessen their exposure to potentially tempting situations, etc.
For a camper who struggles with same-sex attraction, I’m sure it would be profoundly helpful and inspiring to have a camp counselor share their own personal struggle with ssa, especially in witnessing their lack of shame before God, their devotion to God in the midst of the temptations, and their vulnerability in being so honest about that part of their experience.
There could also be lots of benefits for non ssa campers to hear this shared by their counselor. For example, experientially learning to appreciate and learn from experiences that differ from one’s own, learning that sin is sin and no one sin is more hurtful to God than any other, how to share vulnerably about something that might bring others shame and fear, etc. It certainly took a lot of courage for this camp counselor to share something so tender and that kind of vulnerability and faith is always inspiring, even if one does not personally identify with that particular temptation.
Thoughts in regard to how to handle this with your child:
This could be a great opportunity to open up a very real and respectful conversation with your child about LGBTQ+ identities, God’s unconditional love, God’s expectation of righteousness for His people, our role in loving and supporting those that experience same-sex attraction, etc. This is fertile ground for a great learning opportunity for your child about God’s nature!
If you are looking for further resources to better understand sexuality and/or gender from a faith-based perspective, please check out the resources page on my website.
