I was invited to be in a local drag show. As a cisgender heterosexual disciple, I thought it would be fun to dress up and perform a song. I want my LGBTQIA2S+ friends to know I am in solidarity with them in our small rural community. It’s an opportunity to celebrate free expression and emotional honesty. Is this acceptable under biblical guidelines? Why/why not?
— Seeking to Love Well
Dear Seeking to Love Well,
What a testament to your unconditional love and positive regard for your LGBTQ+ friends that you, as a Christian, were invited to be a part of this show. I appreciate the wrestling match in your heart as you seek to navigate the “messy middle” with both love and righteousness. Below are a few thoughts to consider as you prayerfully discern your next steps:
1. Seeking a Clear Conscience Before God
One of the most important guiding principles in situations like this is to seek a clear conscience before God. While spiritual advisors and biblical principles can provide guidance, ultimately, we are each responsible for standing before God with our decisions. A clear conscience isn’t ruled by emotions or personal desires but is led by the Spirit.
A helpful exercise is to imagine standing before God on Judgment Day and walking through this decision with Him. Ask:
How does God see both my action and my motivation?
Am I truly honoring Him in this decision?
Would I be able to present my reasoning with confidence before Him?
2. Compassion vs. Changing God’s Standards
Your heart for compassion, empathy, and validation is such a beautiful reflection of God’s love. Jesus demonstrated deep compassion for people in all walks of life. However, His compassion never changed God’s standard of righteousness.
For example, in Mark 10, Jesus deeply loved the rich young ruler, but He did not change the truth to accommodate him. Instead, He upheld the call to holiness, even when it was difficult.
Similarly, we are called to love and respect others while also staying true to God’s boundaries for His people. Your conscience consideration might include:
“Am I crossing a line from having compassion to celebrating something that God does not condone?”
“Does my participation help others see Jesus more clearly, or could it blur the distinction between love and approval of sin?”
3. Celebrating Sin vs. Loving People
We are absolutely called to love people in their brokenness and sin—because we are all sinners in need of grace. However, there is a difference between loving someone in their struggle and celebrating something that is outside of God’s design.
God grieves over anything that distances His children from Him. If participating in a drag show sends a message that affirms something contrary to God’s intent for gender, sexuality, and holiness, it may be worth reconsidering.
4. Biblical Consideration of Gender Distinctions
The Bible speaks about maintaining gender distinctions, including in outward expression. Deuteronomy 22:5 states, “A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this.” While we should avoid being overly legalistic, the heart behind this command is respect for the gender distinctions God created.
Your conscience consideration here might include:
Does my participation align with or disregard God’s intentional design of gender?
Am I honoring the way God made me, or am I compromising that for cultural acceptance?
Final Thoughts
I love that you are wrestling with this decision rather than just reacting. That is a sign of a heart that wants to honor God. I encourage you to take this before God and seek His wisdom in making a decision that both honors your identity in Christ and reflects love for your friends.
I will be praying that the Spirit leads you to clarity and peace.
In Him, Ellen
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